why is it…

…that when i finally have the time to blog, i can’t think of anything to say, but when i’m nowhere near my computer, i have all sorts of delicious ideas?

…that thunderstorms make me want to lay outside on the grass and make out with someone?

…that i am practically unable to have more than one bottle of beer in one sitting, but i can have well over a half gallon of draught beer in one evening?

…that i am so unable to let go of feelings for people? even when they’ve hurt me so much, even when i never see them, even when they stop acknowledging my existence?

…that i am able to love SO deeply but so unable to open up to others?

…that the sound of rain on a car window is more relaxing than a good massage?

…that roommates drive me completely insane and yet i’m completely unable to live on my own?

…that even though i have a solid faith in a loving and merciful God, i become completely tongue-tied and dumbstruck when people begin to ask me questions about my faith?

…that the darkness brings out all of my fears and paralyzes my thinking?

…that so many can love me so deeply knowing so much about me?

…that i long to read the thoughts of complete and total strangers and hang onto every word, every syllable throughout their thoughts?

…that i’m more comfortable sharing my thoughts with these strangers than with those around me who know and love me unconditionally?

…that the thought of unconditional love terrifies me?

…that the ones i want to love so badly don’t seem to want to love me back?

…that i still compare myself to unrealistic looking people?

…that the thought of pain and sickness is sometimes more comforting than the thought of health and wellness?

…that the one thing i really want to share on this i can’t seem to make myself type?

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One thought on “why is it…

  1. Ashley says:

    …that the sound of rain on a car window is more relaxing than a good massage?^^This may be my favorite sound in the whole world :)Have I already suggested Captivating to you? You must read it! MUST.

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