the fire

he asked her to come over. he was having a fire.

she didn’t know if she should but her night was so miserable. she was so lonely. she was reminded again of how lonely she is. of how much rejection hurts. of how much she still loved…

and he wanted to see her.

so against everything she knew she should do, she went.

she sat across the fire from him. she was afraid to look at him for more than a moment or so. she knew what would be evident in her own eyes. but moreso, she was afraid of what his eyes would reveal. would they reveal what she thought they might?

she suddenly noticed the stars. she could see so many stars from his house. another way to look at something other than the fire, other than his face, other than his eyes.

she listened to his drunken babble. engaged where she could, but mostly just let him talk.

she swiveled slowly in her chair to face him. her eyes started at his shoes and worked their way to his face. to his beautiful face. he was leaned back in his chair, not looking at her.

‘may i make an observation?’ he asked

‘um. yes.’ i reply

‘you looked beautiful in your picture on facebook today.’

she didn’t dare look into his eyes for more than a second. she smiled in spite of herself. he leaned forward in his chair to look at her. his eyes caught hers and locked them. and then he smiled at her. his beautiful smile.

he abrubtly leaned back.

‘i’d ask to see your whole outfit but i can’t really see you past the fire.’ he was back. the normalcy in his voice. the very maleness that she had come to know.

‘you don’t want to see me,’ she replied.

‘hey now,’ he began.

she continued. ‘you don’t want to see me because i look too good and you’ve had too much to drink.’ and she smiled at him.

he chuckled, knowing she was right.

then all too soon, the night was over. she had to leave. both of them knew she had to leave. she could sense his urgency. reluctantly, she accepted his hug. and walked down his sidewalk. he turned on the outside lights and she turned to look at him. she knew that he wanted to see her.

then she turned and walked to her car. and drove away.

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