people DO care! get that through your thick head…

i was thinking in my shower this morning. it’s a soothing place to think – hot water, the delicious smell of my shampoo and soap, my phone alarm going off every five minutes…

why do we think that people are our friend against their will?

doesn’t that seem a little ridiculous and arrogant? i think it does. we sometimes think that people are only our friend because they think have to be. people only deal with us because they have no choice, because they feel compelled, because for whatever reason, they are bound to us, forced to show some semblance of caring.

are you following why i’m starting to think that this train of thought is ridiculous and arrogant? what is so special about us that people are FORCED to be our friend? i don’t mean to say that we’re not awesome and whatnot, but really? people HAVE to be our friend? i don’t think so.

people WANT to deal with us, to be our friend, otherwise they wouldn’t be. they wouldn’t waste their time. every person has problems, has issues, has challenging stuff. i don’t want to deal with the issues of people that i don’t care about. i don’t want to listen, i don’t want to have to worry about them, i simply don’t want to deal with that.

but for a friend, on the other hand, i will swim through a lake of sulphur. (well, to be honest, unless it’s the middle of the night. then i don’t really care because i was sleeping and don’t interrupt my sleep. if it’s a matter of life and death, call. otherwise, wait until the morning or call someone else.) OTHER than that, i will do pretty much anything for a friend. and wouldn’t it be fair to expect the same from a friend? why do we sometimes think that we’re bothering people with our problems? unless we become one of those people who have problems 24 hours a day, yeah, that gets tiring. but if not, if we genuinely are having an issue, why is it that we shy away from reaching out for help? why do we think that it would bother someone that we are in a moment of weakness? if a friend, someone you truly care about, called you in a moment of weakness, wouldn’t you want the opportunity to help? wouldn’t you want to help them through it, get better, be stronger?

when i relapsed a few days ago, i obviously had to tell some people about it. the response i got the most was ‘why didn’t you call me?’ my initial response was ‘i didn’t want to bother you.’ but it occurred to me, if it would have bothered them, they wouldn’t have asked why i didn’t call. if i thought they didn’t care, why would i have told them what happened in the first place? why would i have made myself that vulnerable?


or is it just me?

are you friends with people YOU don’t want to be? do you deal with the garbage of people you don’t care about?


3 thoughts on “people DO care! get that through your thick head…

  1. LensFlare says:

    I think it’s a form of insecurity with ourselves. I fell the same way sometimes as well, that some people are my friends because they HAVE to be (though in reality it has been proven otherwise) and I attribute it to some insecurity with myself. If I’m not completely secure, than why would I expect other people to be secure as my friends? Insecurity breeds doubt, including the doubt that a friend is just your friend because you were both bored, or something along those lines.

    It is refreshing to realize that indeed your friends are your friends because they want to be in spite of the insecurity. You just have to pound that through your head every so often as a reminder.

    And for the record there may be a total of two people I’m friends with ONLY because they are close friends of my close friends, otherwise we would probably never talk. I’ll listen to anyone’s problems though – but if it’s just drama I won’t care unless I’m close to the person.

  2. Kimwithak says:

    For people with an overindulgent sense of insecurity like you (and me), it’s easy to think that people don’t care even when all the signs point to the fact that they do. It’s part nature part nurture, I think.

    And some of the best thinking comes out in the shower. You’re absolutely spot on about that.

  3. katyhelena says:

    I have definitely felt this way before: I hate to bother friends with my problems. But I realize very rarely have I ever been bothered by a friend coming to me with their issues. The only time is has ever in the slightest gotten to me was if I felt they were only doing it for attention. We were made to live in community, to be there for each other–but we can’t if we’re not sharing our lives and struggles with others.
    Hmm. That’s something I needed to hear.

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