being the bigger person…

i have a wedding the first weekend of august. my friend. who is friends with c. you remember him?

anyway. he’s going to be there. and this will be the first time i’ve seen him since we’ve broken up. i’m still not really sure how i feel about seeing him again. i think it could be really hard. or it could be really easy. i’m not sure.

originally, i really wanted to do something major for it. lose a bunch of weight, buy a new really hot dress and find some perfect guy to take me. you know, the make him jealous thing.

but i thought about it after he called me. yeah. he called me. we talked. he apologized for stuff. i apologized for stuff. and i realized something HUGE.

I DON’T WANT HIM ANYMORE.

nope. i’m over him. and now, this idea just seems ridiculous to me. because when i was going to do that whole… thing… it would say only one thing. i’m still crazy in love with him and i want him back SO much. it just screams pathetic.

and i’ve also realized something else.

i don’t NEED to flaunt that i know what he’s missing. i KNOW that i’m worth it. and i don’t need to stoop to that level. i’m happy without him.

i went out for ice cream with another friend. and when i told him about this wedding, he basically told me to do what my original plan was. and as i listened to him say it, it just sounded stupid an immature.

so i’m going to be the bigger person. i’m going to go as is. just myself. my beautiful, worth it self, with a date or without, and i’m going to enjoy myself. and i’m not going to worry about the person who broke my heart. i’m not going to let him continue hurting me.

so here’s to being the bigger person. care to have a toast with me?

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3 thoughts on “being the bigger person…

  1. LensFlare says:

    Yes I am pretty sure you are so much more mature than that, remember that whole not missing high school thing we talked about? Pretty sure that would have set you back to about the 9th grade! Just going as yourself – not obsessed with anyone or anything – will be far more rewarding than trying to show someone up. I’m pretty sure you would have come around the correct decision even without the phone call.

    And to the toast I’m enjoying an August Schell’s “Firebrick,” yes, pretty sure you would enjoy this one! Cheers!

  2. katyhelena says:

    Way to go! I think that’s awesome. You ARE beautiful and worth it all by yourself…so go and look as gorgeous as I’m sure you are. And he’ll probably realize what he’s missing on in the process. 😉

  3. kristen says:

    yay for you!! That is awesome that you discovered that!

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