this song has been SUPERGLUED in my head for the past three or four days now. like, seriously? since WHEN do i like taylor swift? besides since never.
i mean, don’t get me wrong. it’s an adorable song and just like any other girl, i want the fairy tale too. i want everything to be perfect. i want the perfect guy to come and do all the right things for me. but at the same time, i know that’s unrealistic. there is no boy, man, guy, male who is perfect. he will always have imperfections, things that drive me crazy. he won’t always understand me and i won’t always understand him. i’m ok with that, though. i don’t want someone who’s perfect. i want someone who’s real. someone who’s honest. someone who i can depend on.
and honestly, i LOVE the story of romeo and juliet. i even like the ending. because it’s not perfect happily ever after. it’s REAL. it’s HONEST. it’s RAW. just like my life. real. honest. raw. overall, i enjoy my life. yes, sometimes life is hard. yes, sometimes i get stuck doing things i don’t want to. yes, sometimes i’m down for no reason and can’t snap out of it. yes, sometimes i struggle with relationships and boundaries. yes, sometimes i do things that i regret. yes, sometimes i want to sleep for a week, or fall asleep and never wake up. yes, sometimes i miss my friends terribly and isolate myself.
BUT WHO DOESN’T?!
who’s life IS perfect? i can’t think of anyone. who gets the fairy tale? NO ONE. because life ISN’T some fairy tale. it’s not a series of events leading to a happily ever after. my life’s joy and happiness and purpose and contentment isn’t wrapped up in a person, in a boy, man, guy, male.
but i still dream. i still hope. i still wish. because as soon as i stop doing that, i stop living. as soon as i stop doing that, i’ve given up on everything. i’ve become a cynic, cold as stone. i’ve become not worth being around.
i think it’s important to be realistic. but i also think that it’s important to dream. to hope. to love. to wish. it gives us something to live for, to strive towards. something worth looking forward to. and sometimes, when i’m down, when i’m depressed, i lose sight of that. i lose my focus and i see the world for the dark dreary place that it really is. people hurting, hating, dying. when i forget to dream, i forget to remember the love and happiness that’s here too. i forget about the joy of getting a postcard or a letter in the mail. i forget the way someone’s eyes light up when i walk in the room. when i forget to dream, i forget that this is only a temporary place for me and something SO MUCH BETTER waits for me on the other side of this life. when i forget to dream, i forget to love. i forget to accept. i forget to learn.
sometimes, it takes something very simple to remind me. sometimes it takes very little to show me the beauty and adventure and wonder in this world, on this earth, at this time. sometimes, all it takes is a song.
sometimes, all it takes is discovering a new, awesome musician. someone who’s passion is evident in their playing, in their faces. someone who arranges music for their daughter. sometimes, all it takes is 5 minutes to remember. 5 minutes to be taken to a completely different place, where pain doesn’t matter. only the sound of the melody, of the music. hearing passion and talent and skill all combined into one place. even if i don’t know them. even if i’ve never heard of them before.
if you’ve been here for a while, you know that i’ve been in love. head over heels in love with someone. which has more recently come out as hate. i will be seeing him at the end of this week. and he’s the one that helped me realize that it is important to be realistic. that the happily ever after love story doesn’t exist. not really. it’s possible to be happy, but it takes work. it takes patience. it takes choosing to love someone for who they are and not who you think they should be. that just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you get to spend the rest of your life with them. sometimes i’m juliet and they are mercutio. sometimes they are tybalt. sometimes they are rosalyn. because only one gets to be romeo. only one. you only get to live ‘ever after’ with one. hopefully happily ever after, but you have to be prepared for the work that it takes.
“we were both young when i first saw you…”