what gives anyway…

what gives a person the right to hurt someone else?

what gives a 16 year old the right to be stupid and kill someone’s mother and grandmother? what gives a man the right to beat his wife? and then turn on his child? and then mock his child’s pain? what gives a drunk person the right to take the life of a young wife and mother? what gives a person the right to steal the innocence of a child? what gives people the right to harass and torment someone who’s different?

i know that God is out there and He cares about everyone’s pain. i know this. but i hear these stories and i experience these pains and i can’t help but ask ‘why?’. i can’t help but look up and say ‘where were you, God, when these people were hurting?’ ‘where were you God, when this child needed someone to look after them, someone to protect them? was it really necessary that they experience so much pain to become the person they are today?’

i know that God was there the whole time. God was there healing the hearts of the broken. God was there, giving the child strength they never knew they had. God was there, making sure they didn’t die. God was there, holding a family in His hands. God was there the whole time.

i wish i didn’t understand why these awful things happen. i wish that i could blame one person. someone who is completely responsible for all of this. someone on whom i could take out my justified anger and rage.

and then i look at my own life. and i see my problems and my issues and they seem so insignificant in comparison. it’s like… what in MY life justifies the way i feel? nothing terrible has really ever happened to me. and yet i’m still here, a hurting and broken person too. is it necessary that i have to have these? i know that it gives me a base for wanting to help people. it’s what DRIVES me to NEED to help people.

but there are just those days when these things are too much. when life doesn’t seem to make sense. when i hear about pain in the life of someone i love. when i wish so much that i could take that pain away. when i wish that i could carry their pain so that they wouldn’t have to.

so i mean, really. what gives anyway?


2 thoughts on “what gives anyway…

  1. nicopolitan says:

    If I remember my Sunday school lessons correctly, it’s that God loves us so much that he gives us the freedom to be whatever we want to be — and in some cases, that means the misguided will become straight up evil, and things that are straight up evil are fully allowed to mix in with the elements of our world that are good. But in all fairness, God can’t favor the pure. He gave freedom to EVERYONE. And freedom is as dangerous as it is important.

    It’s like having a favorite character in a book. The book is going to happen how it happens, and all you can do is turn the page.

    Hope it all turns out well on your side of the world.

  2. katyhelena says:

    I identified with this post a lot. Sometimes it really does seem like it’s all too much. There’s too much pain, too much struggle.
    And sooner or later, God reminds me He’s more than big enough to handle “too much.”
    Have you heard the song “You Were There” by Avalon? I thought of it while i read your post.

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