not sure what to write about…

so i know it’s been a while since i’ve written but i just don’t know what to write about. my life isn’t terribly interesting, i guess. i mean, i’m not really sure.

i’m still doing the school thing. which is really fun and i’m really enjoying it. and i have a test on monday, which i should be studying for and not trying to punch out some blog post about nothing. but alas, we’ll keep plugging away here and see where this goes.

so i’m in school for psychology, if you weren’t aware. and the weirdest thing happened. ok, maybe not the WEIRDEST, but it was still strange. so this kid in band overheard me telling the band director what’s going on in my life and what i’m doing and what i’m in school for, etc., and after i put away my instrument and started walking out of band room, he stops me and says ‘so you’re really a psychology major?’

…..

um, yes. yes, i am (ok, you have to understand, this kid is kind of out there… if you know what i mean. think… perpetual freshman).

‘so does that mean that you can diagnose me?’

……..

‘why? do you have some sort of psychological disorder?’

‘no, i just thought it would be fun to be analyzed and see if there’s anything wrong with me.’

…………..

and since he laughed while saying it, i laughed and took that opportunity to make my exit.

i mean, seriously. weird. i don’t know.

but, now that i take some time to think about it, it’s not THAT weird or strange. the conversation was just because of the person that he is. a little socially awkward. but who of you wouldn’t like the same thing? a few hours with a psychologist just to see what they say about you. just to draw upon their wells of knowledge and see if i’m normal or not. and the more and more i learn about psychology, the more i see that what i think i have, i REALLY do have. it’s not just a figment of my imagination, it’s not some conjured up version of reality. it’s really there. it really affects me. which is kind of a relief in some sick way. it’s like, yes, i thought something was wrong with me and it’s true. i wasn’t fed some bs. there is a NAME to it.

am i making any sense?

do i wish that i was “normal” and “healthy”? maybe kinda, but then i would be a different person. i wouldn’t be the compassionate person i am. i wouldn’t be able to effectively help those that i think i can help. because i wouldn’t know what they’re going through. i wouldn’t understand the feelings they feel. i wouldn’t know. and how can someone help if they don’t really know what you’re talking about? isn’t it true that when something crazy happens in your life, you want to talk to someone else who’s had a similar crazy thing happen? someone who’s been there? yeah, i thought so.

so i’m really excited for this major. i’m excited to see where it goes. i’m excited to take the next step (which is hopefully seminary) and really further my education and understanding. further myself. improve myself to help others improve. it’s like everything in life is starting to make sense again, just what i wanted so many months ago, if you can remember back that far in my blog. living one day at a time (mostly) and taking things how they come, remembering what’s important and acting on that. getting rid of things that aren’t important in order to keep the things that are. in order to make more time for the things that are.

isn’t growing up and maturing awesome?

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2 thoughts on “not sure what to write about…

  1. Kimwithak says:

    It’s so good to hear from you! I’ve been wondering how things are going.

  2. christy says:

    yes, yes, it is 🙂

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