things i’m not ready for…

i’m not ready to see my grandpa. he has alzheimer’s. pretty bad. it’s gotten much worse since i last saw him. i’m not ready to see him. i’m not ready for him to not know me. i’m not ready for him to look at me and have no recognition who i am. i’m not ready to accept the fact that he’s not going to know my boyfriend. that he won’t be coherent enough to be at my wedding. that he’ll never know my kids. i’m not ready for this disease to take over him completely. it pretty much already has. he pretty much has no cognitive ability. i’m not ready to see him like that. it will break my heart and i’m not ready. i’m just not ready. but i also know that i’ll never be ready for it. you can’t be ready for something like that.

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5 thoughts on “things i’m not ready for…

  1. James says:

    I am SO sorry, love. I wish there was something else I could say or do to make this better, but there is nothing. Just know I am here for you.

  2. nicopolitan says:

    No, nobody can ever realy be ready for that.

    But it is still important to live it. Hearts are sometimes meant to break, because what doesn’t kill them makes them stronger.

    Don’t be ready.

    Be there.

  3. bleighv05 says:

    He probably will still know you. But yea, James he won’t know. It is hard, but he still loves you and wants to see you. And the best thing you can do is love him back.

  4. Kimwithak says:

    I’m sorry. I know what you’re going through first hand. There’s nothing I can say to make you feel better. Except maybe that we’re here for you.

  5. DeMo says:

    That’s one of the hard things about growing up. We grow up, and our grandparents grow old. You should spend as much time with him as you can, even though it’s hard.

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