i’m not ready to see my grandpa. he has alzheimer’s. pretty bad. it’s gotten much worse since i last saw him. i’m not ready to see him. i’m not ready for him to not know me. i’m not ready for him to look at me and have no recognition who i am. i’m not ready to accept the fact that he’s not going to know my boyfriend. that he won’t be coherent enough to be at my wedding. that he’ll never know my kids. i’m not ready for this disease to take over him completely. it pretty much already has. he pretty much has no cognitive ability. i’m not ready to see him like that. it will break my heart and i’m not ready. i’m just not ready. but i also know that i’ll never be ready for it. you can’t be ready for something like that.