i was chatting with my sister yesterday and brought up some stuff that, yes, i have thought about but haven’t really addressed. you know?
i mean, come on. i’m getting married. to a guy i’ve known for going on 5 months.
doesn’t anyone else think this is a little fast? or are we just SSSOOOOOO superbly matched that no one thinks anything of it? OR are people THINKING it but not saying anything because the LAST time they tried to say something i didn’t listen?
ok. let me clarify what this is and what this is not. this is just me throwing questions out there that are in my head. this is NOT me questioning the relationship or anything. i’m VERY excited about all of this. i wish you could see how excited i am. i’m trying not to throw it in everyone’s face, but i’m definitely excited.
however, i do think that it’s kind of strange that no one has said anything about this being too fast. until now. and it’s only one person. so is my sister crazy? or is everyone else crazy? or is everyone else timid? i mean, i’ve thought about this a lot. i haven’t ever really been one interested in dating someone for dating’s sake. if it’s not going to GO somewhere, why do it? what’s the point? but then, if you really think about it, what’s the point of getting married, anyway? so you can make babies? so you can be not lonely in life? sometimes it just seems like such a weird concept to me.
kind of like life in general. you all know i’m a christian and whatnot, but sometimes i wonder what the point is. why be here for just a little while? if we came from nothing just be taken to heaven someday, why not just skip the middle step and go straight to heaven? that would be more logical, wouldn’t it be? it just seems strange that we would be here for 80 years doing stuff. working, perpetuating the species. does it seem strange to anyone else? does anyone else think about this stuff?
sometimes i get really philosophical and then i feel like i SHOULDN’T be questioning this stuff, but i do. and i’m sure God’s not too worried about it to be honest. He can take it. i think that He prefers thinkers anyway. people who aren’t simply blindly following and living their lives. people who really think about stuff and really question things, those who seek out answers. those who aren’t afraid to ask the really hard questions even though there isn’t really an answer to them. at least not a really satisfactory solid concrete answer. there are answers out there. i think that it’s up to everyone to seek them out. and i don’t mean find their own answers, i mean find THE answers. the REAL answers. and who knows what those answers really are. if everyone had the answers, there would be no questions.
questions are not bad. i don’t understand why some people are SO afraid of questions. you know the type, they get all worked up if you ask anything, if you question anything. and not even just over the malicious questions, but the simple ones. and what about those who ask questions but don’t want to hear the answers? have you ever had conversations like that? where someone will ask you a question and then they don’t give you time to really answer it before they jump in and accuse you of not knowing anything? or they’ll WANT to ask you questions and WANT to hear your answer, but they don’t shut up long enough for you to answer any of them anyway? i personally find that to be extremely frustrating. it’s like… really?! shut yer face so i can answer you!! i DO have some answers and you’d get them if you’d shut up long enough to hear them.
i figure if i’m going to ask a question, i better be prepared to hear whatever answer people have. and i better be prepared to let them take as long as they have to in order to answer those questions. some people need processing time. i’m one of those people. i need a bit of processing time before i can really answer something. if i’m rushed, i then start to say things that are contradictory. i say one thing and then two sentences later i say the opposite. i find that some people get really frustrated with me when talking about some things because i stop and think. i make sure that i know what i want to say. i want people to LISTEN when i say something because they think that it’s something worth saying. they think that it’s something worth LISTENING to. i want to be worth listening to. i think everyone does.
how about you? do you stop and think? do you find yourself getting frustrated when others do? are you a questioner like me?