i can feel you spring…

it’s in the air. love. birds. singing. rain… all of these can only point to one thing.
SPRING!!!!
i’m sssoooo ready. i love living here in fargo, i really do. however, sometimes winter just gets to be so bloody long. summer isn’t long enough. it’s like, you know what global warming? hurry up so i can be warm more. seriously. (ok, not seriously. i don’t even think global warming exists to be honest. more like the pendulum of the world’s temperature is on the warmer end of life, though you wouldn’t believe that to be living here. because it’s still cold…whine…)
anyway, spring.
which, of course, also means flood. i’m sure that any of you who turned on the news once or twice last year heard about us all up in this place getting all flooded out and stuff. it floods here every single year. obviously. when you live in pancake valley, it’s only to be expected. snow melting into a north flowing river, yeah (what even determines whether a river flows north or south anyway? that’s crazy… one of only two that do that on the PLANET. weird), we’re going to flood. it’s just usually not as bad as it was last year. on one hand, it was kinda cool to be the center of the world for a little bit but on the other, it was obviously a pain. water all up everywhere, detours left and right, piles of dirt and mud and sandbags. and of course, there’s a HUGE push to get all the sandbags OUT there and once it comes time to clean up, it’s slipped off everyone’s radar so the poor homeowners have to clean it all up by themselves. (which, a little part of me, the mean part, says, yeah so? you chose to have a house by the river. in a flood plain. uuuummmm… what did you expect?) there are definitely precautions being taken this year, of course. no one wants to be smacked in the face like we were last year. it’s hard to deal with that when it sneaks up on you. we’re hoping to be just as sneaky to the flood this year. haha… trying to outsneak mother nature. that’s kinda funny.
however, spring is more than just flood watch. it’s warm weather. it’s sunshine. it’s being able to run without freezing to death. going for walks after work/school. generally happier moods. all of that kind of stuff. and along with this spring passes another season of life for me as well. the passage from being young and single to young and married. a whole new season is upon me, a whole new section in my book of life, not just a new chapter. i’m looking forward to it for sure, but it certainly doesn’t come without its anxieties and concerns. there are definitely things that make me nervous. the money situation, for one. lately, it seems like bills and obligations are just piling up above and beyond what we planned for and it’s nerve-wracking to be sure. but then, we step back for a moment, we recognize that God is in control of everything and suddenly a new area where we can save money pops out of the budget. $10 here, $20 there, $150 over that way. and it’s always just enough to cover the newest thing cropping up. it definitely takes a measure of faith to sit back and try not to count pennies all the time. not saying that we’re not planning and we’re not trying to make things work, but it’s definitely hard. very hard sometimes to not go overboard. it helps that we’re both reasonable people with reasonable expectations for life and the fact that we don’t really have to BUY anything. we pretty much already have what we need as far as moving in together having furniture and dishes and all that (as much as i don’t WANT to use the old lady dishes all the time, i sure would if we had to. they’re super nice, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that i’m 23 and i want to eat off 23 year old plates. i know… grow up cari. not a big deal. 😛 haha). i am hearing all these horror stories of how we’re going to get SO much money at the wedding and stuff and the next thing we know, it’s going to be GONE. ALL. GONE.
i certainly don’t doubt that we’re going to find stuff to spend it on, but somehow i have a hard time imagining that we’re going to be living barely paycheck to paycheck. especially once we get all my debt paid off. obviously not school loans, but the other stuff. the credit cards and whatnot. that will free up a LOT of money in the budget that’s not being thrown at the things i thought i needed to have. oh how we live and learn, right? but the best part is that i’m not being made to feel guilty about it. which is SO awesome. it’s never been about assigning guilt or blame or even whose debt is whose. while we’re not married yet, we are making a conscious effort to begin seeing things as ours. not yours and mine anymore. which is hard when i go to HIS house and sit on HIS couch and watch HIS tv eating off HIS plates. and i don’t have any of that. but it’s truly not a big deal and i know that if the shoe was on the other foot, i’d be acting the same way and saying the same things he is. if i happened to be the one with everything, i would be trying to make him feel better and i find that when i remember that, it’s much easier to not feel poor and all that stuff.
it’s always amazing to me how much spring can affect my mood. how much i remember simply because it’s nicer out. how much my spirit is lifted when i hear birds singing and the sun shining. God made such a wonderful earth and i’m so glad when i’m able to stop and look around and see it all.

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