the miles that grow between us…

we all grow up, right?

of course that’s true. everyone has a story about how they’re growing up and moving on in life. they’re going to school, getting jobs, paying bills, paying student loans, getting married, living the life of an adult. something that i’ve come to realize is that this also means another pretty big and important thing.

it means moving. moving away from friends, moving away from family. sometimes a few hours, sometimes a few states. and suddenly, of all the shows you want to be harassed by on facebook, you aren’t. because the only live shows you’re interested in going to are your friend’s shows. and the only ones who ever invite you aren’t actually your friends. they’re people that you just happen to know. and while, yeah, they put on a good show and they have good music, it’s just not the same. you don’t know the music, you don’t know the lyrics, you barely know most of the people in the band, you went to school with them but never talked.

and now, the only way that seems to be able to minimize the miles is the internet. and of course, that requires an equal commitment by both people to keep up. but pretty soon, you’re swamped in homework and overtime and there just isn’t time to blog or email or chat or even call. and you begin to realize how big those miles are. and how they grow.

in a time where the world just gets smaller and smaller, some distances are so hard to close. money is tight and visits can’t be arranged. and the miles grow. and days and weeks pass between blog posts. and the miles grow. and months pass between chats and phone calls. and the miles grow. pretty soon, you’re checking the map to see how far it is from fargo to m-boro (1150 miles for those interested) and you wonder… how long until i can make that trip work? what can i cut down in my life to save the money for a trip like that? but you also remember that there’s a trip to new york on the horizon as well (1430 miles) and you can’t decide which place you’d rather go to more. then you start to see if you can make it one trip but you remember that you’re flying to new york and all of these little details seem to get in the way.

at the same time, all you want to do is go see your friend in a coffee shop play her uke and sing her little red head off. but oh, how the miles have grown. and sometimes, distances and life are just a little too much to overcome. but your heart knows and harbors that little dream that yes, you WILL get out there and you WILL be together again, if only for a few days and all those miles will mean nothing. someday, those miles will mean nothing.


4 thoughts on “the miles that grow between us…

  1. jeneypeney says:

    Miles are hard…

    Hopefully their hold on our lives won’t be much longer. 🙂

  2. christy says:

    aw, very true post. i’ve made fantastic friends in college and then we all moved away and life has carried us miles in different directions. it definitely helps to know all our hearts have that little dream of seeing each other again someday no matter how long it might be for!

  3. courtney says:

    i miss you, too.

    i have friends everywhere. i have friends in montana, in north dakota and minnesota. in new york city, in houston texas.

    and i’m not talking people i used to kind of get along with. i’m talking people i consider BEST friends.

    i never go anywhere, partly because i’m poor, and partly because…

    who would i decide to see?
    who would get left out?

    how do i make that decision.

    there are some weddings i’m not even TRYING to make it to (yours not included, i REALLY wanted to be there) because i feel like it’s unfair to those of my friends who already got married and couldn’t see me at their weddings. is that silly? i don’t know.

    i feel like when if/when i get married i don’t even have much of a right to ask my friends to be there because i couldn’t be at theirs.

    growing up is hard. i HAD to move to tennessee. sounds too definite but it’s true. I HAD to.

    but man, it hasn’t really been easy.

    • cari says:

      i completely understand. i really do. growing up IS hard. and everyone has to do it sometime. sometimes it works out for everyone and sometimes people get left out. and yeah, where do you go and who do you see? it’s impossible to make that decision.

      fortunately, with weddings, there are always pictures and sometime video. so even if you couldn’t make it, at least you can see it and maybe even hear it. in a perfect world, everyone would be able to make it and everyone would be able to see who they want to see and when they want to see them. but it’s not a perfect world and sacrifices need to be made. you’re still a bestie to me, no matter what. 🙂

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