open letters thursday…

dear finals tomorrow,

i don’t want to take you. please take yourselves so i can sleep in?


exhausted student


dear the ex,

this has been super weird timing and super weird in the communication department as well. please hurry up and read and respond. i’m getting impatient.

take care,

getting impatient


dear may,

please figure out what you’re doing. it was 80 in april and now you’re threatening snow? pull yourself together. it’s my birthday pretty soon and i think you owe me a nice birthday since you weren’t that nice on my wedding day. just sayin.


NOT amused


dear wedding pictures,

please get edited faster. other people want to see me just as much i want to see me.

yours truly,

the star of your show


dear motivation,

where did you go? i miss you.




dear runner’s world crappy beeping stopwatch,

you’re going to the trash to never annoy me again. i hope you enjoy your stay.

not truly,

irritated runner


dear hockey stank,

thanks for going away with a good washing. my eyes were burning before. i appreciate it. and don’t worry, you’re going to get ozoned as well. i bet you’ll REALLY enjoy that.

yours truly,

the wife of your hockey player


dear guest bloggers,

please say yes.

with all my heart,

this blog owner


dear jews,

please look healthier. i know it will take some time, but i really was trying to do the best thing since i froze you over the winter. i promise to take better care of you now. i really do.


your owner


dear sex,

you’re fun. i like you.


well laid


dear red wings,

please don’t lose tonight. i want to watch you again, but i’m too tired and too peopled out to go even to gpa’s house to watch you. so, if you could just stick it out a little while longer (preferably winning the next four games) that would be turbo sweet. then i might even get to go back to the joe to see you again. and i would really like that.

desperately hoping for you,

your lady in red


dear driver’s license picture,

you suck.

just sayin.


the image you steal and then distort

3 thoughts on “open letters thursday…

  1. your sister says:

    it is weird to hear you talk about sex. really weird. Really. And I hope your jews get better too because I want some. And you and I definitely need to celebrate your birthday together.

    • cari says:

      yeah… just don’t think about it. that’s all. i’m still just your little sister who doesn’t do that kind of thing. 😛

  2. your sister says:

    yes, you will forever be my little sister who behaves. Until you get pregnant and then that whole facade is ruined. 🙂

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