this is something that i don’t really understand. i mean, i get how it works and all, but it doesn’t make sense to me.
let me set this up just a little bit. a few weeks ago, i found out that someone i know is getting a divorce from his wife of 30 years. 30 YEARS!! and heard that someone else of 25 years is splitting up. and yesterday on the radio i heard that al and tipper gore, together 40 YEARS are calling it quits. not that i care about al and tipper, but you know what i mean, right?
i don’t understand how you can share SO much of your life with someone and then just walk away. HOW DO YOU JUST WALK AWAY FROM 25, 30, 40 YEARS?!?!
obviously i don’t know the ins and outs of these stories, i don’t know what life is like at home, i don’t know a lot of things about their lives, their marriages, whatever. it just seems so weird to me that people can do that. they can decide that after all those years, it would be better to not be with the person that they pledged their lives to. trying to imagine my mom and dad walking away from each other right now (this year is 25 for them and no, there’s no party because i’m a terrible daughter). i can’t even imagine it. i can’t even PICTURE them walking away.
what makes a marriage not worth it anymore?
i have had quite a few friends get married in the past few years and i have been invited to 6 this season as well. we’ll make it to 4, so not bad. but of all those people, there ARE in fact a few who i wonder ‘will they make it?’. with these people, i know what will kill their marriage if it does. selfishness. plain and simple. and it breaks me heart to think that they’re going through all of this stuff and yet i wonder (and i’m not the only one) if they’ll make it 5 years. i WANT to believe in them, i WANT to believe in their marriage. i just don’t know how.
of course, and you knew this was coming eventually, it makes me think about mine. how do i KNOW that we’re going to make it? how do i KNOW that 10, 15, 30 years from now we’ll still love each other? that we’ll still find our marriage to be worth it? obviously i DON’T know and i realize that marriage is a string of choices. choosing to stay with that person, choosing to love them, all that stuff, but it’s still kinda scary. i’ve been married for like, 35 DAYS and everything is going just fine and we still like each other and all that jazz. it just makes me wonder what the future brings. can we handle it? will we make it? or will we end up as a divorce statistic?