inspiration…

i’ve been lacking bloggy inspiration lately. perhaps it’s the late summer laziness where nothing really happens, perhaps it’s simply that i’m not entirely sure where things are going and, honestly, i do have to be a little careful about what i say here. at least for a while.

however, something has been really weighing on me and i believe that i’m being given a direction to go with my life. at least for the next 12 months while i’m stuck here at school. james and i have really been taking the summer off as far as pretty much anything resembling life is concerned. we tried to get friends together on sundays to hang out and play sports and did that two or three times. our tuesday night group has basically taken a summer hiatus but i’m hoping that will start up again in the fall. we haven’t been reading together in the morning, but i think that has a lot to do with the fact that i’m still sleeping when he gets up and leaves for work. we haven’t been praying together every night either, which is something that we had really wanted to make a priority. of course, the last two are habits and they take time to develop and i’m certainly not down on us for it, just recognizing where we’ve slipped from where we wanted to be.

God has really been showing me this lately, reminding me of what we wanted to be doing and how we’re not doing it. he’s also been laying, at least on my heart, to lead a life group through our church. or, at least i assumed and thought through our church. now i’m wondering if it isn’t something bigger than that.

i always found our tuesday night group discussions to be SO awesome. we really dug into the Bible, really searched for what God wanted to show us and it was SO encouraging, so edifying and really, was building some amazing relationships. needless to say, james and i were both pretty disappointed when things started to fall apart over the summer. we had really been looking forward to getting together with our little group and continuing to discover things.

i’ve been talking with james, and recently one of the pastors, about us starting up a life group. honestly, i hadn’t really thought much about it until this pastor suggested it, but ever since then, God has really been nurturing that idea in me. we have been talking about who we’d want in our group, what we’d want to talk about, and other logistics. what i hadn’t anticipated was the email i got today.

i got an email from a pastor i met once, Pastor Bon, about this idea God has laid on his heart called Who Will Save America (WHOWSA). so many people, christians and non-christians alike, are seeing the spiritual decay of america. there are so many who claim to be christians who don’t know the first thing about Christ that it is turning people away from the gospel and the message of Jesus Christ. this new group (for lack of a better term) is on a mission to equip those who follow Christ to form their own groups, similar to the first century churches, to help each other grow spiritually, to be accountable, to be a light. he sincerely believes that america is on the brink of a spiritual revival.

as i read his email, it made me think about the books i’ve been DEVOURING lately – the Left Behind series. for those who don’t know, it’s a fiction series depicting the last days on earth according to the Bible. it follows the lives of some of the last day christians, and seriously, it’s good writing. sometimes, as with all books, it’s a little slow and gets bogged down, but for the most part, it’s constantly moving forward. it’s unpredictable but not ridiculous. there aren’t fabricated situations to keep the plot going (at least through book 5 which i’m going to start (and probably finish) today). anyway, the point i’m trying to make is that these last day christians are ON. FIRE. for God. their whole purpose and mission in life is to reach as many people for Christ before their inevitable deaths. their mantra is ‘decide who you’re going to follow before it’s too late’. and while all of the death and mayhem is depressing, it also gives me such an appreciation for my husband, for our life, and really is getting me on fire for God as well. i started to read the series as my mom was buying each book, but i only made it about halfway through. i believe i’ve been through book 6, but not sure about after that. i do remember, however, even the first time that it really got me on fire for God and really gave me a sense of urgency about spreading the gospel.

i know that (probably) i’m not going to die in a massive earthquake, have to worry about water turning to blood, and worry how i’m going to survive world war 3. i’m not going to have to worry about eventually being in hiding while still trying to spread the gospel. no one is going to trace this post back to my apartment and try to kill me (probably). life is comfortable, life is relatively safe, and that has lulled so many of us into a thought that there is no urgency. we are all safe. no one’s going to die soon. but the reality is, none of us know when we’re going to die, none of us know what tomorrow brings.

the only thing that i can think is that God is orchestrating something huge for us in fargo, in the midwest, in america. i fully believe that now is the time to step up, now is the time follow. God is confirming so many things right now and i simply can’t wait to see where this goes, how james and i will be used, and what part we may play in the spiritual revival of america. i’m growing more solid and more secure in my faith, less afraid of offending people and more about standing up for Christ. whether that’s me being a servant or boldly correcting false beliefs about Christ, the Bible and christianity, i’m in. i’m up for it. i want to see what God will do with those who stand firm in their faith and make it their life’s mission to further the Kingdom of God.

i’m sure i sound crazy to some (or a lot) of you, but i’m seriously so passionate about this. i won’t turn this blog into preaching central, i promise you that. i will be sharing the exciting things going on and how God is moving (even in things such as my balcony garden!) and transforming lives. people think that a life of faith is boring and full of rules. i can’t think of anything more exciting than a life of faith: never knowing what’s coming but knowing that God will provide. it’s unbelievable and it’s so FREEING!! i can think about important things, spend my time with important people because i don’t have to plan every life step.

Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell. Psalm 43:3
**edit**

i also just realized that this has EVERYTHING to do with the sermon i JUST heard on sunday. pastor jon was just talking about how the Kingdom of Heaven is near! we’ll talk to anyone about the arthritis in our elbow that affects our golf game but how many times do we ask fellow believers about their spiritual health? not even sharing with non-believers, but how much do we talk about faith with those around us who share it? it’s a great message if you care to hear it.

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