the first day of class is usually the most nerve-wracking day of the ENTIRE semester for me. it’s the day that all the professors give out their syllabi and i am looking at the whole semester compacted into a few sheets of paper. all the chapters, the assignments, the tests, the projects, the papers, the extra credit. ALL of it just laid out for me to see.
this semester, i can already tell that things are different. i’ve only had one class, but i’m not worried about it. it looks like quite a bit of work, too. 25 chapters, weekly assignments, almost daily in class assignments, a project. somehow, starting this semester, i’m able to look at the syllabus and realize that it’s not going to be that difficult. yeah, it’s a lot of work, but it’s going to be spread over 16 weeks.
i think i’ve finally figured out that just because it’s a 25 chapter textbook doesn’t mean that i have to read it all in one day. heck, even in one week. i’ve always gotten so overwhelmed looking at the things that i have to know and all the textbooks i have to read. over the last year, and definitely over the summer, it’s finally sunk in that things aren’t as much work and aren’t as overwhelming as they appear on paper. as long as i stay caught up, on top of school and reading and assignments (and get my books sooner rather than later), i should be JUST. FINE.
i’m looking forward to this semester. i’m looking forward to the classes, looking forward to familiar professors, looking forward to being one of the top students in class. probably not THE top student, but in the top 5 or 7 for sure. i want to be the student that the professors come to expect great things from, the student whose name professors get to know, the student that i always wanted to be but never found what i was passionate about enough to justify the work that being at the top takes.
fortunately, i’ve done it now. and my GPA is AWESOME so far. i know that i won’t graduate with a 4.0. simply not enough time to do that, but i think there’s plenty of time to raise it even more. i want to have good grades, i want to have my two seminaries take me seriously as a student. i want them to look at my stuff and think ‘we want her’. i’m mature enough to realize that being serious now makes a huge impact on that future. sacrificing now will pay off.
i think that having stability helps a lot too. i’m financially stable, emotionally stable, relationally stable. all of that. i have no worries. i know that i will have money to eat, i know that my husband will be there at the end of the day to cheer me on when things are good and encourage me when things are tough. i don’t have an unreasonable boss to deal with. this summer, a professor told me over and over that she really enjoyed reading my assignments, that she always expected great things from me. she knew that i would step up and take responsibility in class when she needed someone to do that. it was AWESOME to hear. it makes me want to continue to do that. to continue to be the student that professors know will get stuff done.
this should be a really good semester. i’m so looking forward to it.