usually, i would just be getting out of class right now. usually i would have a list and stack of stuff that i need to do before tonight or tomorrow. usually i would have a pile of stuff to read. usually i would be a little stressed out trying to study. usually i would be annoyed at the lack of seating at this university for people who aren’t in class and would like to eat lunch.
not today, though.
maybe it’s because my first class was cancelled. maybe it’s because i got to be in band today. maybe it’s because i rocked the face off a test i took on the brain today. maybe it’s because i can recite the parts of the brain from memory and see a little picture of the brain in MY brain. maybe it’s because i really, really knew my stuff. maybe it’s because i had a conference with my professor today about the psych experiment i’ll be conducting next semester and i’m WAY ahead of where she expects students to be at this point. the other students i’ve talked to are also way behind where i am too. some of them don’t even know what they’re doing yet. i’m almost ready to formulate a hypothesis. i also have a stack of stuff for the other research paper i have to write on jealousy. maybe it’s because i’m very caught up with school in general.
maybe it’s because i’ve been hanging out with keri noble lately. maybe i’ve rediscovered my love of superchick. maybe i’ve just remembered about barlowgirl. maybe i’ve rediscovered the power of positive music. the power of GOOD music. the power of talent. maybe i’m wanting to reconnect with my inner musician.
maybe it’s because i’m feeling the exercise i’ve been doing lately. maybe it’s the yoga in the morning. the running every other day. the times getting faster.
maybe it doesn’t matter.
whatever the reason, i’m feeling good today. i’m feeling relaxed. i’m feeling wonderful. i’m feeling… i’m just feeling. and whatever it is i’m feeling, it’s putting a smile on my face. as i reflect over the past few days and weeks, i see how all the hard work i’ve been doing is really, really paying off. i’m seeing the rewards of my hard work. i’m feeling the rewards. i’m seeing that it was, and is, worth it – even on those really stressful days. sometimes, you just have to plod through the mud and the muck to get to the greatness on the other side. i’m glad that i’ve been doing school this way, though. i’m glad that i’ve been pushing and working and shoving and plowing through everything. i’m glad that i can relax a bit this weekend because of it. i can really, really ENJOY the wedding i have this weekend. i don’t have to think about brains or forgiveness or jealousy or spatial reasoning or the DSM. i can just enjoy.
the ONLY thing that would make this even better is if i could go outside, enjoy the warm weather, go for a walk and listen to my music – though i’m usually a purist when it comes to that kind of stuff. i don’t like to have music playing when i’m walking near traffic and stuff. i don’t have an ipod and the zune is at home and my music isn’t even on it. i can just picture myself sitting outside listening to music, enjoying the sunshine, just relaxing and allowing myself to not think about anything.
perhaps, today, i will go home and spend the next few hours at home relaxing. maybe i’ll play some video games. maybe i’ll take a nap. maybe i’ll do something else. i don’t know. maybe i’ll go for a run. i just want to enjoy this day and sitting on my laptop at school is not the way i want to do it.
how are things falling into place for you?