we went to a friend’s house to watch the superbowl yesterday and actually had a pretty good time. i, of course, knitted the whole time, barely watching the game or the lame-wad commercials. i enjoyed some great food, good company, and ok conversation.
we were one of three couples there, both of which have been married for about 10 years. and i have to admit that if that is what i have to look forward to in 10 years, i’m not entirely sure why i got married. fortunately, the realistic side of me knows that a marriage is what you make it, not what it just becomes.
i’m thankful that i don’t have to compete with porn, beer and the need to be right. i’m thankful that i don’t have to worry about james ogling megan fox. not only do i not have to worry about it, he tells me that she’s got nothing on me. i don’t have to compete with the beauty of other women because i am the bar by which he measures other women and they always fall short.
i know, i’m being pretty mushy gushy right now, but sometimes things just hit me. i come to a realization. not that i never knew it before, but it’s as thought i’ve rediscovered it, as though i’d forgotten about it and the realization is just as wonderful as the first time i had it. i know i’ve talked before about our relationship and thought that we have such a strange relationship as compared to many that we know. i started to think that i was being a *tiny* bit narcissistic and a little grandiose, but i’m once again reminded that it is the truth, not a false and arrogant perception.
there is certainly a possibility that it’s newlywed bliss and that things will change and reality will hit, but i think it’s equally possible that things won’t change and this will become our reality. i think that a big part of that is our faith. the fact that our beliefs revolve around the idea of treating each other as well as possible, putting each other above our own interests and desires, making sure that the other has everything they could want or need.
i know that these other couples, and most ones around us, don’t have those ideals. they are wonderful people but inherently very selfish. it is the way of the human, to look out for #1, which is me. it’s more important to look out for me than for anyone else.
i think that in a truly healthy marriage, #1 is the spouse. and it’s fine that i look out for that #1 because my #1’s #1 is me. i don’t have to look out for my interests and what is best for me because someone else is already doing it. someone else has my best interests at heart, just as i have his. i love my friends and i enjoy their company simply to enjoy their company, but also for the reminder of what i have and to remember to truly treasure and cherish each moment. to realize what i have and to realize that not everyone has what i have. others have spouses and they have spouses that they love and who love them back, but not all of them have a selfless love – a love that only come from the overflow of the cup which God fills inside of us. that’s a very special kind of love and i hope and pray that it never goes away.
it’s quite the feeling to realize what and who you have and it’s quite the feeling to be incredibly thankful. i want these reminders for the rest of my life so that i always remember to know what and who i have and know that only by the grace of God did james come into my life and choose to share it with me, even though i was a christian. only by the grace of God did i choose to enter into an unequally yoked relationship. only by the grace of God did our story unfold and become what it has become.