i must admit, i’m not a very disciplined person. it just doesn’t really seem to be in my nature. i know that there are people out there who thrive on their list of stuff and getting that list done. i cannot tell you HOW many times i have tried and tried to do something, to remain disciplined and stick it out to the end.
i mean, really, i’m a musician! in order to be a good musician, what must one do? PRACTICE!! how often do i do that? not NEARLY enough.
i’m training for a half marathon. i got a 3 1/2 month training program, stretched into 4 1/2 and was REALLY good about following it for about 2 months. then i got sick. threw me COMPLETELY off track. and then it was this, and class, and spring break and just being too busy to make sure that i was ACTUALLY following the program. it’s gotten to the point where i’m just trying to make sure that i get out and run a few times a week.
how many times have i tried to start a morning devotional? more times than i can count. currently, i’m several days behind on the two i’ve really been trying to do. it’s not that i don’t like them, it’s that i’m just not disciplined enough to maintain it, i guess. i get up before james, so i want to be quiet or i’m running late in the morning so i don’t have time or i simply forget.
let’s not really even talk about blogging. or reading my Bible. keeping up with daily Bible studies. or, or, or.
so my question is this: is a lack of discipline a really bad thing? is it something that i need to work on? and if it is, how does an undisciplined person go about becoming disciplined? it just doesn’t make sense in my mind, because wouldn’t trying to become more disciplined take some… ummm… discipline?
i want to clarify something here, though. just because i’m undisciplined doesn’t mean that i’m unorganized. i try really hard to maintain some kind of organization with things and life and whatnot. i just can’t decide if this is good or bad though. is it REALLY important that i maintain all of these things?
is it more that things in life are like seasons. they come and they go as they are needed. is it necessary that i both read my Bible every day AND do a devotional? is it necessary to follow a running program or can i just do my own thing? you know what i mean? i’m someone who gets bored with things if they aren’t changed up every once in a while. if our apartment layout could handle it, i probably would have rearranged our ENTIRE apartment over the weekend. i settled with the computer room and the dining room. variety is the spice of life, is it not?!
this all comes up partly because of the sermon at church yesterday and because of a book i’m (re)reading. at church, we are talking about the history of the Bible. we got a 15 minute Bible history lesson. basically, a LOT of people gave their lives, their safety, and their resources so that today, i can have a Bible in my house without fear of dying. and do I read it every day? no. do i even read it every OTHER day? no.
this other book i’m reading is called ‘a contrarian’s guide to knowing God’. this book basically questions the rigid adherence to spiritual disciplines. not that they are bad, it’s NOT what this guy is saying. what it IS saying that many people have taken these disciplines and turned them into rules for life. that you MUST follow them in order to be a ‘good Christian’. he suggests that these disciplines should perhaps be looked at more as tools for getting to know God and His will for our lives better. and honestly, that takes a lot of the pressure off a person like me who can’t seem to stick with one thing for more than a month or so.
so which is it? what are your thoughts?