I have dedicated this blog to helping me live in pursuit of life and not the brainless, monotonous grind that daily life can become.
James and I have been talking about living a more Earth friendly, stewardly life. Lately, though, we haven’t been doing a great job. We’ve gotten caught up in the busyness of life and have been a little bit on autopilot. Last week, we decided to complete a bible study we had started when we were leading a group a couple years ago now. We still have all the materials but never finished because our group stopped showing up. We had a really, really good conversation last night and one of the questions really got me thinking.
“Practically speaking, what would it look like for you to “put your hand to the plow” and not look back when it comes to following God?”
For me, that really means embracing being home all the time. It means learning to be content here. It means focusing my energy on my home instead of on what else I can do to earn money or whatever else I’m feeling insecure about at the moment. James and I came to the conclusion together that the best thing for our whole family is for me to be here. We reached this decision together. Lately I have been looking for and thinking about and wanting a job outside the home – something to earn a little more money, something to be away for a bit.
I realized something last night: that’s not my calling. Me pulling my weight around here doesn’t revolve solely around financials. Pulling my weight means managing this household the best I can – providing my daughter and dogs and husband with what they need. Keeping the house somewhat clean. Sort of keeping up on dishes. Trying to live within the budget.
The part I have had the hardest time keeping up with is food. I enjoy cooking, but I’ve been a little burned out on planning and making meals. I think it’s because I’m going about it all the wrong way. We have transitioned our diet to mostly whole foods and way less prepackaged, pre-processed foods. Of course, this means more work in preparing meals. There are days I just don’t have the energy to think about supper and we simply don’t have the kinds of things around to make a meal. Like I said, we’ve been slacking.
I have decided, though, to really embrace this role at home. To stop worrying about how much money I am or am not bringing in. To stop lamenting the money wasted on degrees I don’t use. To stop beating myself up for our debt. In order to move forward, I HAVE to stop looking back.
What does this really look like though?
It looks like preserving foods. It looks like taking a weekend once per month to make freezer meals so that we always have something to pull out and eat, so James always has something to take to work for lunch. It means spending less money on groceries because we are spending smarter. It means paying attention. I do what I can to not wastefully use electricity and water, now I need to do the same thing with groceries and food.
We use cloth diapers and old t-shirt wipes. We make our own baby food. Why are we having such a hard time with adult food? No more! I want to commit to pulling my weight and really embracing what that means. Embracing the NON-financial aspect of that. I wouldn’t call us wasteful by any means, but I know we can do better. I know *I* can do better. It is time to start looking forward, surrendering my life and will to God’s plan and to stop trying to figure out how to squeeze what I want into that.
I say I love being home. Now I need to start living like I really believe that.
Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the Kingdom of God.” –Luke 9:62